Author Archives: Liza Loop

Elderly ✔︎ Undiagnosed ✔︎ Autistic ?

Liza picking a scabThis essay is a second installment of my journey toward understanding why and how I am so “weird”. In my first essay, Autism @ 80, I used the term Asperger’s. After a month of reading articles about, and testimony from, people diagnosed with Autism I find the term and much of the concept of ‘Asperger’s’ has been banished to the dog house and that many neurodivergent people prefer to see ‘autistic’ as a personal identity rather than a condition or disability that a person has. Regardless of the truth value of the statement “Liza is autistic”, delving into the autism literature is giving me a lot of very comforting ‘aha moments’. I’ll share a few with you.

Jonah’s birthday party. So my son invited many of his friends and family to drop in at a local bar on the eve of his birthday. I found myself unusually comfortable in this small crowd (about 12) and small talk on my topic-de-jour came easily. “Autism, oh ya, I was diagnosed two years ago. And this is my doctor, she’s on the spectrum too.” Then I noticed that my grandson was reeling off a highly technical explanation of AI tokens and the person who had kicked off the discussion was right there with him. A new person walked up, greeted my son with a hug and they immediately began a loud, esoteric conversation about some business deal they had been involved in a couple of years ago. No introductions or social niceties, no problem. No masking. Now I’m wondering whether I have been uncomfortable when I visit my son and his tribe because I have been expecting neurotypical social rules and they had already dispensed with them.

Speaking of Masking. Everybody finds themselves on stage some of the time, suppressing spontaneous comments or behaviors and adopting others that seem more socially acceptable. But this is not an hour-by-hour experience for everybody. If I’m correctly interpreting the personal descriptions by autistics as found on the internet, the experience of having to puzzle out what to say in order not to be offensive is a continuous challenge. I’ve finally learned to keep my mouth shut until I’ve constructed an inoffensive script (to put on my mask) in most social situations. At the birthday party, nobody took offense. They seemed to ignore anything that might have been off color and to welcome the atypical. But for me not masking has become difficult as well, even in a group that appreciates my eccentricities.

Except for the picking. All my life, every scrape, blemish, insect bite, fingernail, hangnail, rough spot, and unidentified lump has been a target. I scratch or bite myself constantly. It’s impossible to mask, to hide, to stop; it’s more than just a bad habit. At the party I watch my daughter-in-law knitting. She’s always knitting when she’s not writing or petting the cat. My mother was always knitting or crocheting. My grandmother did embroidery. In an earlier age someone who was constantly flint napping or some other craft performed with the hands, repetitively, would be a necessary asset to group survival. Today we buy “fidget toys” for our kids and ask them to sit still.

Tyranny of the Typical.  So if I’ve been surrounded by neurodivergents in my family of origin and my children, why have I had to mask so much. Why am I, along with many other adult females, experiencing a sense of relief and grief as more of us disclose that we have been masking our inner experience in order to function in modern society? Any satisfactory answer is likely to be long, complex and rooted in both individual and group dynamics. Let’s start by imagining life for humans as hunting and gathering prey animals who lived in small, relatively isolated bands.

Today we have machines that do the repetitive sewing, carving, berry picking tasks that require constantly moving hands. We rarely have to pick the parasites out of each other’s hair and we don’t open or lick wounds to  prevent  infection. What was typical and necessary is now dysfunctional in much of modern life. Along with the kind of repetitive actions seen in autistic people, unique ideas and innovative behavior would  also help the group adapt to changes in environmental conditions and develop new social interactions. Natural selection probably has preserved some neurodiversity. On the other hand, hunting, along with infant care, and building communal structures or boats, requires cooperation, predictable skills, timing, and trust – – typical (predictable) behavior. You don’t want one of the hunters to spook the herd just when the others have it surrounded or one of the builders to drop the lodgepole at the moment it is being set into place. Thus, natural selection would also ensure the group had some neurotypicals.

How is it that the neurotypicals now seem to have the upper hand and have convinced even the neurodivergent folks to pathologize their own behaviors? One answer may be that neurodivergent people are less likely to self-organize and develop a common voice. Their differences are from each other as well as from the typicals. Even if there are more divergents than typicals, rules, common beliefs, and cultural norms will not emerge as readily among the divergents. The typicals are better at articulating the value they bring to the whole group. The cooperating hunters are now corporate executives, police, doctors, academics, and politicians. The divergents are scattered among homemakers, farmers and factory workers, inventors, artists, scientists, researchers, explorers, risk-taking entrepreneurs, political activists, shamans, and social drop outs of many kinds. Does this imply that the neurotypicals have used their very typical-ness to consolidate both the overarching cultural narratives and means of physical force to marginalize the neurodivergent? If so, I doubt that it was either conscious or intentional. Whatever the underlying motivations and evolutionary dynamics, for the past several hundreds of years, the neurodivergent, autistic, and socially deviant populations have been labeled sick, disabled, defective, useless, or dangerous often enough to make masking of their differences the ticket for participation in mainstream society. It led to my family of origin, most if not all of whom were pretty divergent themselves, reject and criticize me if I didn’t mask the very behaviors I saw in them. Luckily, the narratives had already begun to change when my children were born in the early 1970’s. I did my best to celebrate their uniqueness while supporting them through the inevitable pressures to conform that school and employment presented. The happy and comfortable birthday party tells me my efforts are paying off.

Healing Grief and Anger, Reclaiming Self and Power.  What more do I need to do? I’ve learned a lot in a month of read, writing, and talking about autism. Am I finished? Not hardly, not for myself, not for our broader social narrative. I read and agree with several criticisms of the term “autism spectrum” and the implication that there is a single, linear dimension against which to measure the strengths and challenges faced by neurodiverse people. There is a much more nuanced story to be discovered and then told about the various ways the human nervous system is “wired”. New chapters in that story are now being written, about just how varied the human nervous system can be for individuals who survive to adulthood, about the relationships among genetics, epigenetics, and life experience, about the long term effects of physical and psychological trauma on the behavior of individuals, about how cultural and social collective actions afford freedom of action for individuals. What is said about humans in general will impact my view of myself.

And my personal story? I’ve carried anger for almost 80 years toward my family, schools, and communities over the ways they have reacted to my “weirdness”. Some said I was ‘intelligent’, ‘high-strung’, ‘neurotic’, ‘hypochondriacal’, ‘depressed’, ‘chaotically attached’, ‘suffering from narcissistic wounding’… misdiagnosed. But I’m not sure they ‘missed the diagnosis’ of autism either. The term “diagnosis” continues to medicalize inappropriately. Rather, we all failed recognize how varied we humans can be in our sensations and in our thought patterns. We – I – got caught in the different-is-bad trap. When everybody in the trap is different, everybody is bad. As all of us support each other in taking off our masks, as we move from different-is-bad to different-is-interesting, my anger is morphing into sadness. That we have been punishing each other for being diverse is sad but there’s nobody to blame. My parents didn’t know any better and they didn’t intend to hurt me any more than the crowd at the grocery checkout counter means to send me home exhausted after shopping.

Believing that I have been hurt, even without blaming others or myself, gives me space to grieve. Grieving leads to healing. Spaciousness also comes from reading about the ways autistics protect themselves from sensory overload and take time to rest and recover. Instead of asking myself what’s wrong with me when I’m ready to leave the party after two hours, I’m saying, “for you, two hours is a good run.” I’m wondering what other useful tips I can harvest from lists of strategies for parents of diagnosed autistic children.

It’s not all good. I’m still in the middle of what I have always thought of as ‘a depressive episode’ or ‘seasonal affective disorder’. But now I’m wondering whether I’m experiencing ‘autistic burnout’ from too many hours in Zoom meetings last week. I can’t change the seasons and I’ve never been able to climb out of the depression – – except by giving myself the kind of space and decompression time I find mentioned in the autistic literature. And I can schedule fewer online meetings. Is that Self and Power? Well, yes, somewhat. Can I decrease my picking and scratching? Not yet, but I’m going to get a spinner ring for starters

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All my life I have felt like an outsider, like I’m an actor on a stage playing a role for an audience. Am I autistic? How would I know? Does it matter?

Am I autistic?
Well, that depends on who is applying the label. People have called me many names but no one has used the terms autism or Asperger’s. When I asked my psychotherapist whether he thought I had Asperger’s syndrome he replied, “Definitely not”. But recently I have been reading what adults diagnosed with some form of autism say and comparing their descriptions with my lifetime of internal experience. There are a lot of pretty close matches.

How would I know?
Here are some clues.
The website https://www.medicinenet.com/what_are_the_signs_of_aspergers_in_adults/article.htm
offers 10 signs of Asperger’s in adults. Keep in mind that there is a lot of disagreement within the medical community about where to draw the line between ‘neurotypical’ and ‘neurodiverse’ but these 10 are usually mentioned.

1. Social awkwardness. Check. As far back as kindergarten I have felt like an outsider, feeling excluded, not knowing how to get myself included, baffled by how to take appropriate turns in a conversation. My peers told me I was “stuck up”, “conceited”, “scary”. I wasn’t disruptive so adults didn’t say anything.
2. Difficulty understanding jokes or sarcasm. Uh huh. Mom used to tell me I was too “literal minded”. And I hated the situation comedies that were (and still are) popular on TV. I thought they were demeaning rather than funny.
3. Challenges in making or keeping friends. That one’s a definite match for me. My response to the pandemic was relief – – “getting in touch with my inner hermit”, I explained to the folks I ran into while out walking my dog. Most of the time I prefer the company of animals rather than humans, although lately my cat has become annoyingly demanding.
4. Sensory and motor issues. This is not such an obvious fit for me. Although…I don’t choose bright lights, avoid rock concerts (loud noises), and dislike perfumes. Food, balance, and coordination are not problems for me but I have a high tolerance for pain and only appreciate some types of touch.
5. Avoidance of eye contact. Bingo! Eye contact frightens me and I have no idea how some people find eyes to be the “windows to the soul”.
6. Lack of adherence to social rules. This ‘sign’ can be difficult to interpret. Although internally I don’t have much respect for social rules, it rarely occurs to me to break them with my actions. Perhaps this is the result of growing up in a household where breaking the rules had severe consequences. Or maybe staying with social rules gives me a sense of routine and security. In my head, on the other hand, there are no social rules.
7. Very strong and particular interests. No question that this describes me. Reading used to keep me up all night. I avoid video games because they are so addicting. Animals are my closest friends. I collect many different things, including genealogical data. Math, science, psychology and puzzles all turn me on.
8. Difficulty with change. Not my issue, at least, not on the surface. This could be because my ‘routines’ are so complex that they look like ‘change’. Or maybe difficulty with change is more salient for people with more chaotic sensory experience, those who find change threatens their need for control and predictability. It might be interesting to look into this further.
9. Strong ability to focus. That I can do. 50 years of fascination with learning and education attests to that. But I’m also quite distractible. I can start out researching one topic and suddenly get sucked into an in depth exploration of something related. I wonder if the difference between ability to focus and ‘attention deficit’ could be a matter of how rapidly focus shifts rather than lack of focus.
10. Strong attention to detail and pattern recognition. For me, it’s deeper than recognizing patterns. Patterns are very exciting. I love the weaves, textures, and graphic repetitions you find in a fabric store. Finding a typographical error in an essay is deeply satisfying.

Does it matter?
To me, a formal diagnosis or label doesn’t matter at all. That’s because I’m not looking for social services and support that require an official diagnosis for access. What I am seeking is understanding and comfort among kindred spirits. By including myself in a named cluster of like-minded thinkers I hope to be able to come down from the stage, to drop some of the actor’s facade and relax into myself while in the company of others. Sometimes we call these others ‘friends’.

In future posts I’ll reflect on some of my childhood memories and interactions, many of them disturbing to me, that I’m reinterpreting through a lens of autism. I find these personal narratives a way of soothing and comforting myself. My hope in making them public is that readers will be encouraged to construct their own narratives and will have a similar experience of enhanced wellbeing. 

 

 

 

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by | November 14, 2025 · 11:26 pm

Behold! The Trojan Horse (from 1985)

or Escape from the Classroom 25.7

ABSTRACT

This background paper for a symposium on the school of the future reviews the current instructional applications of computers in the classroom (the computer as a means or the subject of instruction), and suggests strategies that administrators might use to move toward viewing the computer as productivity tool for students, i.e., its use for word processing, database management, and other applications. Factors favoring the use of computers as a means or object of instruction are discussed, including teacher ignorance compounded by uninformed teacher trainers, and a bias in the literature in favor of the current approaches. Steps that principals can take to encourage the extension of teacher use of productivity tools to student use of appropriate tools are suggested. Fourteen references are listed. (MES)

INTRODUCTION

“I wouldn’t mind learning to write programs to solve MY math and science homework problems!”

“Well, I want to learn to USE the computer, not program it!”

“I’m a writer. I want to use the computer to help me compose and edit my work.”

“Ha! The computer is not a typewriter! It’s a scientific tool. I want to use the computer to help with experiments. Why should I have to write a program that is already on the market? I need to learn to use programs.” (Jackson, 1984:65)

These comments, made by middle school students in a critique of their school’s “computer unit”, reflect my own approach to computing. The computer (with appropriate software) is a tool that I use to accomplish my goals. It almost never “teaches me anything (except humility) although I occasionally use it as an electronic page turner for text stored on diskette. I often bump up against the limits of hardware or software and realize that there is no way for me to command the computer to do exactly what I want done. But the computer never tells me what to do nor does it make judgements about my performance. Who would want it any other way?

Apparently, the adults who inhabit most schools (i.e. teachers and administrators) have other ideas about the role computers should play in the classroom. The computer is seen as an “instructional tool”, a fantastic new delivery medium that teachers can use to expand their influence beyond the ordinary limits of time, space and human patience.

In this paper, I will explore a current teacher-administrator vision of classroom computing and identify some of the factors that keep computing “instructional”. Next I will suggest some strategies that principals might use to encourage teachers to move toward viewing the computer as a “productivity tool” for their students. I will close with some comments on how the instructional view of computing works to prevent substantive change in our secondary schools.

VISIONS OF CLASSROOM COMPUTING

To avoid misunderstanding, let us begin by differentiating clearly between ”instructional use” and” productivity use” of computers. Instructional computing includes a variety of methods of managing and delivering curriculum and student  evaluation. The familiar five ‘C’s’ come under this heading: Computer-asisted-instruction (CAI), computer managed instruction(CMI), computer based instruction (CBI), computer aided learning (CAL) and computer aided teaching(CAT) (Lawton 1982). We might apply the title: Computer as means of instruction to these uses. Other instructional computing subjects are: computer literacy, computer science, and computer programing. These three might be more appropriately entitled: Computer as object of instruction. There is some variation of opinion about who should qualify as computer literate. Many proponents felt that “anyone who has written a program“ has paid the appropriate dues (Nevision 1976) while others have stronger programing requirements (Leurhman 1984) or advocate for components of history, terminology, and social implications (Klasen 1981). But all agree that information about computing forms the bulk of the curriculum to be studied. The literature of computers in education is replete with suggestions and arguments about the methodology, impact and effectiveness of instructional computing – both the “computer as means” and “computer as object” varieties. One can even find reference to use of computers as ”Tool,Tutor, and Tutee” (Region VI TEC Center, 1983). But further investigation usually reveals that ”tool” means tool for the teacher to use in delivery, management or evaluation. When the ”tool” reaches the hands of the student, it will be applied only as a “tool for solving problems” defined and presented by the teacher. A search for published discussion of in-school use of the computer as a tool for use by students under their autonomous control yields little fruit.

A few peachy references do show up if one is persistent. Marc Tucker comments:

“What is important, in my opinion, is helping the student to acquire the skills necessary to use the computer as a powerful tool in a wide range of applications, a tool at the service of the student. For some students, the power of this tool will come through an ability to program it, but for many it could and should come from knowing how to use the computer, its peripheral equipment, its associated telecommunications systems and off-the-shelf applications programs, to get things done – how to use it for writing, editing, getting and analyzing information, making drawings and graphs, doing differentiations in mathematics, recording and interpreting laboratory data, and countless other tasks. These are the skills likely to be increasingly important over the years for vast numbers of present day students (Tucker: 316)

These computer applications, often called “productivity tools“ in the lingo of office automation, are no different when used by students than when used by office clerical staff or business executives. In fact, teachers are beginning to discover the secret of computerized productivity tools for themselves. When asked to rank tasks in order of importance, teachers in one study responded: 1) select courseware, 2) integrate courseware, 3) help students with special needs through understanding principles of instruction, 4) do word processing. “However, if only those with a personal knowledge of particular applications were considered, the items above ranked; 4 [word processing],1 [select courseware]” (Godard,1984:14). Word processing was ranked as the most important task, leaving courseware selection to second place. In other words, those in the know know that productivity tools such as word processing make it worthwhile to learn to operate a computer.

Although teachers are beginning to realize that productivity tools exist, the prevailing attitude was expressed by this comment from an instructor from the San Mateo County TEC Center at the 1984 West Coast Computer Faire in San Francisco:

“Oh, no, we don’t teach advanced programs like VisiCalc. Our students [teachers] are still beginners. They’re learning to program in BASIC.

This teacher of teachers was evidently unaware that it takes several days, if  not weeks, for an individual to produce a useful program in BASIC (some of us never do achieve that goal) but that most people who sit down with VisiCalc or a similar spreadsheet application program experience gains in productive output within a few hours.

FACTORS FAVORING INSTRUCTIONAL COMPUTING

The step from teacher use of productivity tools to student use of those same tools should be an easy one. Why isn’t it happening in classrooms? The answer is documented in thousands of articles about introducing computers into schools. They discuss the development and use of ”educational software”, not application programs. They assume that the teacher’s role is to transmit the facts and skills of the curriculum, to “instruct”. The computer is seen only as an instrument to augment that role. Teachers produce lesson plans, lectures, grades, dittos, assignments and student gains on test scores. Software that helps in these tasks, no mater how crudely, is offered to teachers.

The factors identified so far, teacher ignorance compounded by uninformed teacher trainers and reinforced by a one-sided literature, would be sufficient to seriously hamper any teacher who set out to acquire knowledge of productivity tools and then to transmit this knowledge to students. But the problem gets worse when we consider the roles teachers set themselves and their students.The step from teacher use to student use can not be taken until teachers really do use general purpose productivity tools for themselves. Teachers simply do not have time to master all possible uses of computers. Until we stop encouraging them to become masters at curriculum development and complex computer programing all within a single summer ”vacation” they will miss the personal advantages of word processing, spreadsheets, simplified database management packages, and electronic communications.

Not only are teachers naive about their own productivity, they rarely think of their task as one of increasing the student’s ability to produce his own learning. Almost nowhere is the teacher presented with Arthur J. Lewis’ point of view that:

we can encourage students to assume responsibility for their own learning – to become self-directed, lifelong learners. The ultimate goal of education is to shift to the individual the burden of his or her own education. (Lewis, 1983:10)

Teachers present the opposite point of view by placing themselves between the learner and the subject matter to be mastered. When they chose this strategy in computer use they are under constant fire to acquire skills at a formidable pace just to keep up with some students. Some teachers react by refusing to allow students to use productivity tools at all.

Why might a teacher not wish to permit a student to use a word processor, spreadsheet or database management program to prepare work for class credit? Because to do so will require adjustments in student evaluation, teacher pedagogy, and the teacher’s role vis-a-vis the student. For example, the teacher can no longer give credit for spelling, arithmetic, or a “normally neat” presentation. Just how much improvement in content should be expected when the student no longer has to retype after editing? How can a naive teacher evaluate “help” received by the student from parents, friends, and software? And how does a teacher cope with a student who has demonstrated the motivation and the capacity to master the use of this computer tool ON HIS OWN, without the guiding hand of the teacher? The consequences of keeping computing “instructional” are now being seen in schools around the country. As Decker Walker points out in “Computers in the Curriculum,” (Walker,1985)

the current mechanisms for curricular change are on overload. We can’t design courses, develop materials, train teachers and obtain equipment fast enough.

Worse yet, there is a perceived need for “educational software” that no one seems to be able to supply. Many advocacy groups, including National Commission on Industrial Innovation and Apple Computer’s “Kid’s Can’t Wait” program are attempting to use what Walker describes as “intervention from higher authorities.” Such use of political pressure may succeed in getting hardware inside the school building, but the same bottleneck is encountered at the building level: untrained teachers, difficulty in integrating computing into the existing curriculum and lack of software. Walker’s third strategy, that of sidestepping the formal school program and acquiring computing skills through alternative channels, solves half of the problem. It gets some kids using computers. However, it exacerbates the equity issue which we will discuss further below.

The fact that many parents are seeing to it that kids have access to computers and their accompanying productivity software places many public school teachers in an uncomfortable position. Either they must permit the use of computer output in their classes or they risk losing all credibility in the eyes of many students.

PRINCIPAL TO THE RESCUE!

The development of this dilemma signals a critical turning point in the use of computers at any school. It is important that the classroom teacher receive strong support from the principal and the district or the road taken is likely to be drill and practice administered under strictly controlled access conditions. The teacher must be provided with the opportunity to become an active computer tool user so that he or she can understand and share in the changes that the students are experiencing. Opportunity often takes the form of a computer in the teacher’s lounge(Le 1983) and the availability of software of the same type the students are using. In addition, manuals, magazines, and knowledgeable personnel (often another teacher) need to be identified and at hand.

The building principal is likely to be uniquely positioned to mobilize space, “emergency funds”, and staff assignments to optimize the acquisition of computing skills by the teachers. He can set an emotional tone that favors encouragement of student use of computer tools without requiring the teacher to be an expert on every piece of software the students use. The principal can also use the authority of his or her office to face the problem of equal access to computing facilities for all students. High priority can be given to having at least one computer with productivity software available to students in a resource center or library during school hours. If campus facilities are off limits to students after hours, the principal can make arrangements with public libraries and other community facilities to insure that students who do not have private computing resources can use the public ones (Loop1982). Equity problems are not easy to deal with but limiting computer use to structured drill and practice for set periods of time is no solution at all.

SUBSTITUTE OR SUBSTANTIVE CHANGE?

Now that we have come full circle – back to that paradigm of instructional computing, drill and practice – let us see if we can understand how computing might be used to maintain the status quo in schools. The argument rests on George Spindler’s notion of “substitute change” and “change in principle” (Spindler 1985). Substitute change occurs when a new technique or “instrumentality” is adopted for performing the same task by the same people. Spindler offers the example of substituting a gas-powered rototiller for a horse-drawn plow to prepare field for planting. The same farmer uses a new technique to perform an old task. There may be some increase in speed and capacity with an accompanying decrease in labor required. However, the same field is plowed by the same person. Now consider change in principle – ownership of the fields is consolidated, large, high-sped cultivator-planters are employed by entirely different personnel. Such a change has major impact on the daily life of the farmer. A change from delivery of curricular material by the teacher through books and lectures to the delivery of the same material via computer is a substitute change. It permits the maintenance of a teacher-centered classroom within which a constant body of facts and skills are transmitted to the student. The addition of six to eight weeks worth of facts about computers or a new course in computer programing does not constitute change in principle for a school.

The introduction of computer-based productivity tools for student use is a small change, but it is a change in principle. It acknowledges that the product of schooling is learning, not teaching. Further, it establishes a partnership between the student (or learner) and the tool. It is the beginning of a school-wide shift predicted by futurists, from CAI or CMI to computer applications and programing (Dede1983). But it is also a hope shared by more conservative educators such as Henry Levin:

In our view there must be a greater component of problem solving, analytical reasoning, reading, and writing across the curriculum, rather than limiting instruction in these areas to specific courses. The computer should be considered a tool for learning rather than a subject that will displace more fundamental learning required for an educational foundation. (Levin,1983:5)

John Holt, George Leonard, Herb Cole and scores of other radical educators of the sixties accused the schools of blindfolding the children and holding them back from the real learning of which they were capable. Many of us who helped to bring computers into classrooms in these vents thought we were importing an educational Trojan horse which would help students to tear down the constricting school walls from the inside out. Today we see our valiant charger giving educational pony rides while parents and politicians alike decry the impending downfall of our civilization because the educational systems is failing to prepare the next generation for responsible, creative adulthood.

Can anyone believe a problem of such magnitude is soluble with “better educational software?”

2015 Addendum:

Students, teachers, schools, computers and the internet have come a long way since the early 1980s when the research for this paper was conducted. Even so, the underlying tension between Teacher-centered and Learner-centered education is clearly visible in the 2015 discourse about computer use in schools. The connected electronic device, whether game box, telephone, tablet or general purpose computer, has done its work as Trojan Horse and empowered students to breach the walls of the classroom. Students now engage in sophisticated learning activities any time, anywhere although they may not always label such activities “educational”. Those who used to oppose all use of computing for learning have backed away from that position and now focus on the role of electronic technology in the teacher-led classroom.

2025 Addendum:

I’m still fighting this fight with some superficial changes. Today many educators are bemoaning what they view as “cheating” when students use AI-based Large Language Models (LLMs) to access facts and improve grammar and narrative style in essays. While there are some pitfalls to be avoided when relying on AI to ‘tell the truth’, forbidding its use seems like insisting students use their fists to pound in nails instead of hammers when building a house. There is a digital Trojan Horse in the pocket of almost every American teenager and its breaking down the schoolhouse walls. My grandchildren no longer expect their school teachers to dispense the knowledge they need to thrive in the world they are inheriting. The kids will surge ahead. I predict that educators who don’t adapt will be left behind.

 

REFERENCES

Computer Training Opportunities, Course Announcement Brochure from Region VI Teacher Education and Computer Center, Hayward, CA, September November, 1983

Dede,Christopher; ”Likely Evolution of Computer Use in Schools” in Educational Leadership, v41 n1 p2 Sept,1983

Godard, Wiliam P.; Pereira Mendoza, Lionel; “Three Perspectives for Computer Applications in Education” in AEDS Journal, v17 n3 p14-23 Spr, 1984

Havelock, Ronald G.,The Change Agent’s Guide to Innovation In Education, Educational Technology Publications, Englewood Cliffs, NewJersey, 1973

Jackson, Roberta; “Learning With and About Computers” in Computers in the Schools, v1 n3 p 65-71 Fall 1984

Klasen, Dan; “Computer Literacy” in Harper, Denis 0.; Stewart, James H.; RUN: Computer Education, Brooks/Cole Publishing Company, Monterey, CA; 1983

Lawton, Johnny; Gerschner, Vera T.; “A Review of the Literature on Attitudes Towards Computers and Computerized Instruction” in Journal of Research and Development in Education, v16 n1 p 50-55 Fall, 1982

Le, Helen C.; “How to Lure Teachers to the Microcomputer” in Principal, v62 n3 p26-27 jan, 1983

Levin, Henry M.; Rumberger, Russell W.; “Secondary Education in an Age of High Technology” in NASP Bulletin, v67 n467 p49-55 Dec, 1983

Lewis, Arthur J.; “Education for the 21st Century” in Educational Leadership, v41 n1 p10 Sept, 1983

Loop, Liza; Anton, Julie; Zamora, Ramon; ComputerTown; Reston, VA, 1983

Nevison, John M.; Computing as a matter of course: the instructional use of computers at Dartmouth College; Kiewit Computation Center, Dartmouth, NH, 1976

Tucker, Marc; “Computers in Schools: A Plan in Time Saves Nine” in Theory Into Practice, V2 n4 p 313-320

Walker, Decker F.; ”Computers in the Curriculum” photocopy of typescript from author, Stanford University, 1985

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Spontaneous calls – broken appointments

For years, I’ve been telling people I’m very flexible with my schedule. I invite them to call me anytime. This morning a colleague sent me a text requesting that we cancel a weekly meeting with about a half hour notice. I found this really annoying. Why was she being so rude? Of course, I agreed to cancel the meeting, but then I thought about it. How had I indicated to her that this was an appropriate action?

What do we mean when we say our schedule is flexible? Well it means we are willing to change it, but the consequences of spontaneous interactions compared to canceled appointments are really important.

When a spontaneous call comes in, I have the flexibility to accept the call or let it go to voicemail. If I don’t want to be interrupted, I can set my phone so it doesn’t ring at all. If you send me an email I have the choice as to when I read it.

Breaking an appointment at the last minute has an entirely different effect. When I have a scheduled appointment, I build the rest of my day around that commitment. The first appointment decreases my flexibility to arrange to meet someone else at that time. It impacts when I eat, when I sleep, when I exercise, how I prepare to do an intensive bit of solo work. If you text me at 9:30 to request, we cancel a 10 o’clock appointment, I have to rethink everything else. And, although I do have a choice, I could refuse to cancel the appointment, it’s not likely to be a very satisfactory meeting since you don’t want to be there.

Of course, a cancellation also opens up some space for me to add a task or take an extra break. It’s the sense of control, the ability to accept or reject the change, that makes the difference.

Not only does a last minute cancellation of an appointment shake up my day, it impacts our relationship if it happens frequently. It makes me wonder what other agreements that we have made will be subject to one sided, last-minute revision. I begin to question whether I can trust what you say to me.

This kind of relationship friction is never the fault of a single party. I accept that I was the one who claimed flexibility. Having thought this concept through a little more thoroughly, I’ll probably explain myself better in the future. If you say you’ll do something or be somewhere, I’ll expect that to happen. I understand that it’s only a prediction, but in most situations, we know a day or two in advance, whether we are likely to be able to make that meeting or deliver something on time. Unless I hear from you a day or two in advance, I’ll trust what you previously said to me. Cancellations and revisions are fine, but not at the last moment. That doesn’t mean that every brainstorm must be delayed until a future appointment can be made. I might be stuck in the middle of a demanding task and wishing for an interruption, but you don’t know that. So, when you take the chance of phoning me with no warning, I just might be delighted to chat with you – I’m flexible when I still have the power to accept or reject the change in my planned day. When you cancel a slot that I have reserved for you with effectively no notice, be aware that I am keeping score. You have just lost a few points on my flexibility meter.

 

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Is it PHISHING???

I didn’t directly order any tests from IHD labs but maybe one of the doctors I have consulted over the years did. How do I know whether this message is legitimate or not? What is my appropriate response?

I tried calling the number given. After 5 minutes on hold I gave up. After all, they have an infinitely patient AI to harass me but my human calendar is already full. I did leave a message explaining that I will not pay anything without further information. Since they already have my phone number they should be able to identify me with that. I left them no other personal data.

I looked up IHD Lab on the web. Yes, they seem to be a real medical testing lab in southern California. Neither I nor any of my doctors live anywhere near them. I could find no phone number or email address to enable me to discuss their claim. I have no way to verify that the message on my phone actually came from IHD Lab.

This is a perfect example of why many of our technologies are not sufficiently developed to be released to the public. On the one side, they enable criminal behavior for which most of us have no defense. On the other side, the organizations that deploy them legitimately do not understand how to provide adequate information to their clients. Everyone is a victim of childish digital developer geeks telling themselves, “if we can do it, why not?”

This is why not.

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Here and Now Song

photo credit 

Here and Now Song

Today is my day
And right now my finest hour.
I feel the comfort of a loving touch,
Smell the sweetness of the flower.

Everything I need is given,
All my cares are swept away.
Turn my thoughts toward merry laughter,
Step by step I make my way.

Love surrounds me and protects me.
Music lifts my heart with song.
I leave yesterday behind me
Release anger, hurt and wrong.

What is over doesn’t matter.
What’s before me fills my view.
See, hear, touch, taste now for pleasure
In a world that is all new.

What I was fades from my mem’ry,
Where I am brings me delight.
Let the past be like a river
Flowing gently from my sight.



Chorus:
I am grateful for the sunlight and
I revel in the rain.

What’s before me cheers my soul.
What’s before me cheers my soul.

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Wide-Eyed Child

by Liza Loop, 2010

 

photo by Allan Mas

Dear beautiful wide-eyed child,
We knew each other once
But then I lost you.
Lost you to determined pedals Pushed forward at the top of their arc, Left and then right, left and right.Lost you to the un-wet bed, the hung-up clothes, The stuffed toys put in rows.
Remember stepping into the garden pool
With one high-topped leather shoe,

The wonder of the ant on the peony
And the chaffer eating the rose,
The sweet smell of the rose, the sharpness of the thistle,
The softness of the kitten and the wriggle of the hamster’s toes? You were valiant in your fight against extinction,
Persistent in the giggle and the squirm.
You sang and twirled and rolled down hills,
Invented modern art, progressive jazz
And transcendental meditation.
But the urge to know and learn seduced you.
The pond of pleasing others sucked you down to its swampy bottom And held you there.
You burst into the kinders’ garden intoxicated,
Unaware that addiction to achievement and success
Would yield asphyxiation.
While once you scampered after butterfly, then bird,
Now you lumber toward the good.
The kiss that used to simply sing, “Oh happy me”
Has now become a slave to love and duty.

Somewhere deep inside the folds of my being You still whisper, “Oooh! Look! Why?”
Your smile’s reflected in the mirror of my tears. I strain against quilts of education,

Held tight around me by laces of criticism, Walled in by obligation and padlocked
By the admonitions, “Don’t be selfish.”

You were never selfish. What we told you was: “Don’t be.”
I’m walking to the twilight of my life.
I want you back.

I want you free.

copyright (c) Liza Loop 2010, Mountain View, CA USA

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New Practices for Year 80 – Episode 2

It has been close to 6 months since I started practicing being 80 and almost three months since I wrote Episode 1. A lot has changed, most of it good…

I submitted my resignation as Executive Director of the nonprofit I started 50 years ago – – effective Nov. 3, 2025.

 

My oldest grandson turned 21 and I went to his birthday party. He is surrounded by talented bakers!

 

I’ve walked around my town or into the countryside even though it’s often dark and rainy. I’m counting my steps and competing with myself to equal or surpass the number each day. Not by much, just a little.

 

I had a relaxed visit with my first born and his family in Washington state. Playing cards was a favorite occupation of my grandparents.

 

Most importantly, I’ve stopped filling my calendar with more appointments and tasks than I can manage in each day.

Sometimes people ask me what I’m going to do with myself now that I’m retiring. It seems like a funny question since I’ve had the privilege of doing whatever work I chose for most of my life. The difference is that I’m not going to push myself any more. I can stop trying to prove I’m worthy of the advantages I was born with.

The results are blooming already. I’m sleeping better and am less depressed. Perhaps I’m accomplishing less but I’m still feeling better about it.

Next time I’ll tell you more about the things I am doing. They’re not all wonderful. Certainly I will continue to think, write, and talk to people around the world about learning and education. I’m also darning that pile of old socks full of holes and learning to make bread in a dutch oven.

All these things require practice.

 

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by | January 3, 2025 · 1:33 pm

Mother and Our Three Dogs

This is my first experiment with posting my audio recordings. I made this one on my 63rd birthday during a period when I was trying to sort out how my childhood experiences have shaped my personality, character, and adult behavior.

All of us have had some trauma as we grew up. Challenges are part of life. For many of us, the small, vaguely remembered incidents may have had more influence than those lightbulb events we usually label as psychologically impactful. This is a recollection of three incidents that I rarely associate with my mental health issues of depression, fear of abandonment, and anxiety over challenging authority. Don’t get me wrong. I love animals – horses and dogs especially, cats too but not as much. My childhood home was always teaming with critters – familiar domestic pets, captured or wounded wild ones, and science experiments. Most of my memories are of gratifying interactions. But these three probably deserve some further reflection.

Click on the white triangle below to listen. It takes a few seconds for the audio to load before starting.

Bloodhound Dog with long ears on floor.

The original Liza’s ears drooped on the floor when she slept. Pepper would lie like this at the foot of Mother’s bed.

Trippy was always alert for a game or a chase, even a car.

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by | November 16, 2024 · 12:02 pm