Monthly Archives: January 2025

Wide-Eyed Child

by Liza Loop, 2010

 

photo by Allan Mas

Dear beautiful wide-eyed child,
We knew each other once
But then I lost you.
Lost you to determined pedals Pushed forward at the top of their arc, Left and then right, left and right.Lost you to the un-wet bed, the hung-up clothes, The stuffed toys put in rows.
Remember stepping into the garden pool
With one high-topped leather shoe,

The wonder of the ant on the peony
And the chaffer eating the rose,
The sweet smell of the rose, the sharpness of the thistle,
The softness of the kitten and the wriggle of the hamster’s toes? You were valiant in your fight against extinction,
Persistent in the giggle and the squirm.
You sang and twirled and rolled down hills,
Invented modern art, progressive jazz
And transcendental meditation.
But the urge to know and learn seduced you.
The pond of pleasing others sucked you down to its swampy bottom And held you there.
You burst into the kinders’ garden intoxicated,
Unaware that addiction to achievement and success
Would yield asphyxiation.
While once you scampered after butterfly, then bird,
Now you lumber toward the good.
The kiss that used to simply sing, “Oh happy me”
Has now become a slave to love and duty.

Somewhere deep inside the folds of my being You still whisper, “Oooh! Look! Why?”
Your smile’s reflected in the mirror of my tears. I strain against quilts of education,

Held tight around me by laces of criticism, Walled in by obligation and padlocked
By the admonitions, “Don’t be selfish.”

You were never selfish. What we told you was: “Don’t be.”
I’m walking to the twilight of my life.
I want you back.

I want you free.

copyright (c) Liza Loop 2010, Mountain View, CA USA

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New Practices for Year 80 – Episode 2

It has been close to 6 months since I started practicing being 80 and almost three months since I wrote Episode 1. A lot has changed, most of it good…

I submitted my resignation as Executive Director of the nonprofit I started 50 years ago – – effective Nov. 3, 2025.

 

My oldest grandson turned 21 and I went to his birthday party. He is surrounded by talented bakers!

 

I’ve walked around my town or into the countryside even though it’s often dark and rainy. I’m counting my steps and competing with myself to equal or surpass the number each day. Not by much, just a little.

 

I had a relaxed visit with my first born and his family in Washington state. Playing cards was a favorite occupation of my grandparents.

 

Most importantly, I’ve stopped filling my calendar with more appointments and tasks than I can manage in each day.

Sometimes people ask me what I’m going to do with myself now that I’m retiring. It seems like a funny question since I’ve had the privilege of doing whatever work I chose for most of my life. The difference is that I’m not going to push myself any more. I can stop trying to prove I’m worthy of the advantages I was born with.

The results are blooming already. I’m sleeping better and am less depressed. Perhaps I’m accomplishing less but I’m still feeling better about it.

Next time I’ll tell you more about the things I am doing. They’re not all wonderful. Certainly I will continue to think, write, and talk to people around the world about learning and education. I’m also darning that pile of old socks full of holes and learning to make bread in a dutch oven.

All these things require practice.

 

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by | January 3, 2025 · 1:33 pm