{"id":939,"date":"2019-06-01T19:56:25","date_gmt":"2019-06-02T02:56:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/loopcntr.net\/wordpress\/?p=939"},"modified":"2019-06-01T20:02:47","modified_gmt":"2019-06-02T03:02:47","slug":"inside-liza-reflections-on-reflections-introduction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loopcntr.net\/musings\/inside-liza-reflections-on-reflections-introduction\/","title":{"rendered":"Inside Liza: Reflections on Reflections – Introduction"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was born in 1945. I tried writing a diary when I was 7 and then again when I was 10. I thought it was what girls did but I couldn\u2019t get into it. Maybe I was too busy living to reflect on what was happening or why. But by halfway through my 15th year the questioning had started in ernest. I\u2019m sure I talked things over with my friends but that wasn\u2019t enough. I know my mother wanted access to my inner life. We spent hours discussing current events, whether either of us would be able to shoot a neighbor breaking into our bomb shelter (actually, we didn\u2019t have one), what had happened to our \u201cbeautiful relationship\u201d (the one we had when I was a child who worshipped her and didn\u2019t question her decisions), the meaning of life in general. By 15, sharing my inner life with my mother had begun to feel invasive. Besides, I already knew what she thought and I wanted more. So I got an extra spiral-bound notebook and began sharing with myself.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Today, June 1, 2019 (It happens to be my mother\u2019s birthday, or would be if she was still alive) I\u2019m going to begin Journaling 2.0 – Reflections on Reflections. I\u2019ve kept all those old notebooks. Each time I return to them I\u2019m amazed at how little I\u2019ve changed. That doesn\u2019t mean there\u2019s been no change, but it\u2019s clear that, at age 74, I\u2019m the same person with many of the same unanswered questions. As you\u2019ll see on the next page, I began with the sentence:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPossibly if I write down my thoughts, the one\u2019s worth thinking will not be forgotten.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The years have taught me at least two things. First, that writing down thoughts in a private journal will not preserve them. I will die, the notebook is likely to be thrown out unread, my memory will go with me. That\u2019s forgetting. But if I share what I\u2019ve written, publish it, there\u2019s some chance the wish embedded in my sentence could come true.<\/p>\n

Second, there\u2019s no a priori way to judge which thoughts will have value, \u201cbe worth thinking\u201d, beyond the simple joy of having them. There\u2019s a kind of natural selection for ideas as well as genes that happens over time. Genes are lost by being bred out of the gene pool. Thoughts just get forgotten. Publishing thoughts may be like the strategy in nature of an individual laying 10,000 eggs each season even though only 2 or 3 of them are likely to survive to produce the next generation. Perhaps I can push this metaphor a little further. Most of those eggs get eaten by other species. Their specific genes are digested, destroyed, not passed on. Still, the eggs have served a purpose. They have nurtured someone else. Maybe thoughts really are like eggs\u2026<\/p>\n

My juvenile notes are interesting to me, in part because I can compare them to what I think now as I read them. I\u2019ve chosen a strategy make them interesting to you by adding my \u201cmature\u201d reaction to each journal entry. You might want to do the same and pass the result on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One more lesson I hadn\u2019t learned at 15. There\u2019s a certain value in simply amusing each other. My mother used to repeat, \u201cFools names and fools faces are always found in public places.\u201d I interpreted this to mean I shouldn\u2019t carve my initials in tree trunks or paint them on mountain tops. Those who did were fools. I also believed, on a deeper level, that I shouldn\u2019t talk about myself. So I kept this journal secret. Experience has taught me otherwise. People enjoy stories, the more personal the better. So, dear reader, even if you find no profound ideas in the words that follow, I hope you enjoy the story.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

Share this:<\/h3>